You can’t choke water

I have returned to water jiu jitsu. I have a teacher I respect, but the ocean is my master for this style. She always has been. I am brought back to when I was a boy wrestling the waves for hours, letting them crash into me as I was tossed around in the white wash and sand. I was restless, the ocean accepted me.

Fire jiu jitsu came natural; I have a hot head-- pushing back when pushed was the default. I would not let another man break me for we can only break ourselves. I learned this in the wrestling room. The fire feels strong until it meets a bigger flame, until it finds a building of stone. 

The martial arts dojo was grounding for me when I began formal training. A concrete hard place where we practiced discipline and respect. Where we learned to submit to a larger system of thought so we could see what had been built. We stood on the shoulders of giants and let the master guide us so that we could become something larger than ourselves. I built a strategy, I could see what worked in combat, what techniques served me and made me win.

As the years passed, the dojo walls became suffocating. My passion exceeded the ceiling; my creativity was not for others to dictate. I was playing games of ego and craving the learning that had started my journey. External competition wasn’t enough; I was not on the athlete’s journey. I want to make art. I was tired of being defined in terms of hierarchy, both by others and myself.

The injuries accumulated over the years of contact sport were becoming nagging reminders of my resentment. This was not sustainable practice. I kept looking. I never left the brotherhood of jiu jitsu but my time was reprioritized. I was looking for internal balance-- harmonious movement that would not corrupt me.

Water jiu jitsu is a return. A reminder of the infinite from where we came. 

The flow never stops in the ocean. 

After you have collected all your toys and medals, where will you take them? Who will you give them to? We swim for ourselves in the ocean, only the practical survive. 

Water jiu jitsu is a woman’s way, a musician's touch. 

An acceptance and re-direction of force rather than a direct confrontation. 

Creativity beyond brutality. 

Water jiu-jitsu cannot be pinned down. It's decentralized control; it creates strength in looseness, in the spaces between, in the manipulation of momentum. The strength is in adaptation, in manipulation of posture.

To learn water jiu jitsu, we empty. We close our eyes and forget our target; we return to the arrow. To unetch the grooves of a record can seem impossible, our personal investment is our anchor.

The breath is the master key.

It is hard to tell confidence from arrogance; the ocean will show you the difference.  

We are torn apart and numb from our feelings; the ocean will find your inner fire.

When we are quick to fight fire with fire or hardened to life’s abuse; the ocean can teach us to flow. Let yourself be tossed again, movement is life.